CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
At night the local supermarket was surprisingly crowded and Mitchell cursed not going earlier in the day. He’d been spoilt not working, forgetting others had routine in their lives. Everyday constraints forcing them to squeeze in the most unfulfilling tasks whenever opportunity allowed. Tonight was one of those times. Overworked mothers with tired children wrestled trolleys though crowded aisles in effort of stocking their pantries for another week. Again, Mitch rued not coming earlier.
He’d spent the afternoon planning a lunch for someone special. A lunch he wanted to be special. Forever an engineer he carried a detailed list of things to buy. Methodically, he stroked a tick after each one selected before placing the item into an overflowing basket he chose in lieu of a trolley. Bad mistake.
A punnet of strawberries coming to season, grapes on the vine and small Cherrie tomatoes were among the first items found. From the seafood counter he selected a dozen freshly shucked oysters, a slab of Atlantic smoked salmon and the thickest prawns he’d seen for some time. A baguette, trio of cheeses and wafer crackers rounded out the basket along with a range of condiments and sides completing his planned platter. As an afterthought Mitch grabbed a portion of prosciutto hoping to please Sarah given her time spent in Italy. Regardless, he loved prosciutto and would indulge if Sarah didn’t.
Mitchell then battled his way home with the bags full of produce. He threw on some music, opened an extra bottle of wine he’d purchased in addition to the two for the picnic, and spent the rest of the night preparing antipasto dishes and ‘snacks’ he hoped would make the day special. He was happy, and danced through the kitchen like no one was watching. There was purpose in the preparation and delight in doing something for another. Juliana should’ve been the recipient, but Mitch quickly dismissed the thought. He was determined to enjoy the moment and focus on Sarah more than his hopes.
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The early sun told Mitch it would be a glorious day for a picnic. He packed the food into a basket and loaded the wine and seafood into a cooler. He even found an old picnic rug buried deep in the linen press he didn’t even know he owned. After saying goodbye to Peanut, Mitch left home allowing ample time to pick up Sarah. The traffic though was light so he drove slowly around the suburb noting how picturesque it was in the daylight. A workman in a bright orange vest standing in the middle of the road startled him. The stop sign in his hand clearly advising his intent. Mitch didn’t mind the delay and waited while a work truck reversed across the intersection onto the footpath. On the back was a large spool of black cabling. He pulled into Sarah’s driveway shortly after and greeted by Rosemary when knocking on the door.
“Hello again Mitchell. Lovely to see you. What wonderful weather you’ve brought,” she said invitingly. “And what have you planned for my girl today?” Rosemary added in a slightly suspicious tone.
“I’d rather not say Rosemary. Best keep it a surprise,” Mitchell replied accepting the mother’s challenge. Sarah’s footsteps were soon heard on the hallway tiles. Both watched her arrive, equally as proud as the other. Sarah looked magnificent wearing jeans and a free-flowing white blouse. No less attractive than nights before.
“Mum, please don’t tease him. You know what they say about mother-in-laws.” Sarah regretted the words immediately. She kissed Mitchell on the cheek and said hello to distract from the comment. It was awkward compared to their last meeting, Rosemary the antagonist, so Mitch and Sarah quickly made their way to his car. Mitchell opened, then closed the door behind her - ever the gentleman - and shot a cheeky grin to Sarah’s mother who this time replied in same.
“I don’t think she likes me,” He said when in the car.
“Not at all,” Sarah comforted, “she’s just as allusive as me,” she quipped flashing the same grin just exhibited by her mother.
Rosemary was right about one thing; the day was splendid and absolutely perfect for a picnic. The drive down the coast was short and Sarah continually questioned where they were headed. Mitch didn’t relent, preferring to surprise her and make the day extra special. The suspense and evasiveness only adding to the mystery. They chatted about the past week; never mentioning what had ‘held Mitchell’s attention’, and the longer they drove, the farther the tree limbs hung over the road and the more they relaxed.
Being a Thursday the park was quiet lacking the crowds of a weekend getaway. Mitch found a secluded spot right on the beach sheltered from any afternoon breeze that may arise should they be there long enough. He unpacked the car then suggested a stroll down the deserted beach before lunch. Without a word of response, Sarah flicked off her shoes and to Mitchell’s surprise, took his hand in hers to lead him along the sandy shore. The waves cooling their bare feet in the increasing heat.
Sarah was forthright but that didn’t scare Mitchell. He was attracted to her confidence and the fact he needn’t always take the lead.
“This beats the café doesn’t it?” he said starting the conversation.
“Like you wouldn’t believe,” she replied. “Don’t get me wrong. I love my job, the customers and the speed the day passes. But I miss being outside and couldn’t think of anything better. You were right Mitch, the prefect spot for lunch.”
They reached a rocky outcrop hundreds of metres from where they’d begun then turned around to head back. Mitch noticed half an hour had passed. Wow. This is easy he thought, natural. Reversing their positions, Mitchell now took Sarah’s hand for the return walk. As best he knew Juliana would be walking the shores of the Dead Sea right now and he couldn’t help but think of her. He wanted her there with him. But a cursory glance to Sarah, the smile on her face, reminded him to focus on who he was with and not who he wanted to be with. Sarah today would be the centre of his attention. Although deep down, she really wasn’t.
Returning to their lunch site Mitch laid out the picnic rug hoping Sarah didn’t notice the discharge of dust particles accumulated over the years. Clearly captured by the sunlight when set free, Sarah paid them no attention. He unceremoniously unscrewed the cap from a bottle of wine and poured glasses for them both. It was simple and unobtrusive. Mitch lay on one elbow proposing a toast to ‘simplicity’.
“So, what took you so long to ask me out Mitch?” Sarah asked catching him off guard. Mitchell thought briefly for a moment before answering.
“Fear.”
“Of me?”
“No! God no. Of myself. And I guess the past.” Already he’d said too much. The security of the secluded beach made Mitch comfortable for the first time in ages. “I suppose I’ve cornered myself. Believing in something I know will never happen, that I’ve denied anyone from seeing who I really am. Or allowing myself to see others for who they are.”
It was brutally honest and out of character for Mitchell. Elizabeth’s recent words exposed the walls he’d spent years building.
“Do you like oysters?” he asked endeavouring to turn the conversation, and before Sarah could answer, peeled the lid from a container revealing the twelve fresh molluscs. Mitch sprinkled them with lemon juice and pepper and took a small fork from the basket to hand feed the first to Sarah. He wasn’t sure if that one gesture was more damning than finishing the sentence he was just conjured into. But it did shift the attention as his intent. But not for long.
“Come on Mitchell. I see you almost every day but don’t really know anything about you. What are you hiding?”
Those four simple words struck a deep chord. He was once very open, hiding little or overly guarded. However lately defences grew. Preferring to hide his feelings from anyone. His situation was complicated and Mitch believed others wouldn’t understand his plight; nor recognise his hurt. He wanted to tell Sarah everything but knew that would obfuscate things. He couldn’t give his heart to her. Albert loosely knew of Juliana but that was safe, it didn’t affect anyone, and Albert had no emotional attachment to him. But Sarah was different. A fact Mitch realised the longer they spent together. She was a wonderful girl, someone he could spend time getting to know, but couldn’t possibly get close to for two reasons. Mitch wouldn’t let himself fall in love and couldn’t allow Sarah to fall in love with him. Juliana was the barrier. Or more poignantly, the rusty portcullis was the metaphoric barrier. His pain was his alone and no one would be brought into it unfairly.
“I’m hiding nothing Sarah, really. I’m just like everyone else. I have my problems and issues but work on them daily. My problems are mine and no one wants to know about them.” That was macho bullshit even to Mitchell, but he was raised a certain way and lived by the standard regardless. “I have an expression Sarah, one I remind myself of almost every day, ‘no matter how far up the fucked-up-tree you think you are, there is always someone higher.’”
“That’s true Mitch,” Sarah offered, “but sometimes it’s good to share with others and vent. Often, you’ll find solace in their words, gain perspective from their experience. Because as you say, others have been higher up that tree of yours than you know.” It was a sobering observation leaving Mitch feeling asinine; this favourite saying just bit him on the arse with logic, and from someone known to have spent her fair share of time in a branch higher than his. But Mitch didn’t surrender. He kept his problems to himself.
Over the next few hours they depleted the picnic basket while enjoying an unbroken and often varied conversation. Only the cheese, crackers and some wine remained. With the sun taking a new place in the sky, Mitchell and Sarah laid back on the rug watching clouds form, then reconfigure, into varying shapes. Mitch realised things would change naturally if allowed. Shifting winds beyond his control could open, then fill gaps accordingly. He’d fought those winds too long.
From nowhere, Mitch propped himself on an elbow and gently lowered his head to kiss her. He closed his eyes letting the turmoil of the past few years sweep away. Sarah responded in kind and they embraced. Lost together in another time.
It was a beautiful sensation and Mitch savoured the escapism. Sarah’s lips were soft and moist, the warmth of her body even in the sun, invigorating. T’was exactly what he needed and judging from her response, what Sarah needed too. It would however be a forgotten moment to one of them in due course. Mitch released and smiled knowingly at Sarah: her eyes reflecting the light as beautifully as Juliana’s ever did.
But rather than let the situation grow without words, Mitchell spoilt the moment.
“Sarah. Tell me more about Christina’s accident.”
Sarah had already told the basics but Mitchell asked specifically about the time, date and location of her school. He wanted to know everything, and with the wine abetting, Sarah freely answered his questions.